Related:

• How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions.
  Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this....
• This is David. Talk to me. -- Answering machine madness - brevity
• Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.
  -- Answering machine madness - machine theme...
• You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine.
  This is the nineties. You know what to do. -- Answering machine madness - brevity...
• Machine voice:) Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith.
  I have taken over the functions of this inferior being....
• Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls.
  Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• After a power outage:) Hi, this is Ralph. The good news is that my power is back on.
  The bad news for you is, so is my answering machine....
• Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
  Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on....