Related:

• 1) Office employees will daily sweep the floors, dust the furniture, shelves, and showcases.
  (2) Each day fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks....
• 10. Whenever you speak, you say "say" in front of all your sentences.
  9. You attempt to "goto /room/dorm/Shaw/east/156" to get home....
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  2) You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any....
• 1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
  2. Isaac Newton's birthday. 3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook....
• 1. If the work has to be finished today, the part will roll to the most inaccessible part of the room.
  2. If it is heavy, it will hit your toe first. 3. You will then find the part by standing on it and destroying it....
• Fun experiments: Get a can of shaving cream, throw it in a freezer for about a week.
  Then take it out, peel the metal off and put it where you want....
• 1. Encourage conformity. 2. Don't take chances. 3.
  Discourage innovation. 4. Be satisfied with mediocrity. -- Laws of Contentme...
• Man 1: Mop and bucket man to the exit of the "Nauseator".
  Man 2: We got another jumper on the roof of T. G. I....
• Recovery Room: Place to do upholestry...