GRAVITATION, N. The Tendency Of All Bodies To Approach One Another With A Strength Proportion To The Quantity Of Matter They Contain -- The Quantity Of Matter They Contain Being Ascertained By The Strength Of Their Tendency To Approach One Another.

PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood.
The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one....
ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty.
This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting....
INTRODUCTION, n. A social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
The introduction attains its most malevolent development in this century, being, indeed, closely related to our political system....
Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
CONFIDANT, CONFIDANTE, n. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided by _him_ to C.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another.
There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is for advantage of the lawyers....
PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B.
Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others....