INTRODUCTION, n. A social ceremony invented by the devil for the
gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies. The
introduction attains its most malevolent development in this century,
being, indeed, closely related to our political system. Every
American being the equal of every other American, it follows that
everybody has the right to know everybody else, which implies the
right to introduce without request or permission. The Declaration of
Independence should have read thus:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are
created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain
inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to
make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an
incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the
liberty to introduce persons to one another without first
ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and
the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of
strangers."
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies. The
introduction attains its most malevolent development in this century,
being, indeed, closely related to our political system. Every
American being the equal of every other American, it follows that
everybody has the right to know everybody else, which implies the
right to introduce without request or permission. The Declaration of
Independence should have read thus:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are
created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain
inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to
make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an
incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the
liberty to introduce persons to one another without first
ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and
the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of
strangers."
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Related:
- We hold these truths to be self-evident,--that all men are created
equal
hat they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Righ... - Th. Jefferson: We hold these truths to be self-evident.
.. Bart: [to himself] We hold these truths to be self-evident.... - We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created
equal.
Women's Rights Convention, Seneca Falls, NY 1848... - Inadmissible: Not competent to be considered. Said of certain kinds of
testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with
and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings before themselves alone.... - here being nothing more evident than that creatures of the same species
should be equal amongst one another without subordination or subjection.
-- John Locke... - EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other
things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
The exception proves the rule" is an expression constantly upon the lips of the ignorant, who parrot it from one another with never a thought of its absurdity.... - GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another
with a strength proportion to the quantity of matter they contain --
the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength
of their tendency to approach one another.
This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.... - SATAN, n. One of the Creator's lamentable mistakes, repented in
sashcloth and axes.
Being instated as an archangel, Satan made himself multifariously objectionable and was finally expelled from Heaven.... - bug n.
An unwanted and unintended property of a program or
piece of hardware, esp.
one that causes it to malfunction. Antonym of feature....
