Related:

• Sure, I like kids: for Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• We got rid of our kids. The cats are allergic!
• I didn't get a toy train like the other kids, I got a toy subway instead
  you couldn't see anything but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by....
• I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead.
  You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by....
• Lisa: Hey, I thought Krusty was Jewish. Bart: Christmas is a time when people of _all_ religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
  [on TV, a commercial for a really violent video game plays] [a Liu Kang-like character fights against a tank, and dies] Kid...
• Bart: Yeah?| |Oh yeah?| |Yeah?| |Oh &l
  yeah>?| Lisa: |Yeah!| |Yeah!| |Yeah!...
• The secret to Hewlett-Packard's success is that we've simply got more bonfires burning at one time.
  -- Bill Hewle...
• Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this.
  So repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I will eat nought but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola -- [all the kids recite in unison] Ralph...
• Did you hear about the unitarian branch of the Ku Klux Klan?
  They go around burning question-marks on people's lawns....