Five-Minute University teaches you in five minutes what the average college student remembers five years after he or she's out of school .

Five-Minute University teaches you in five minutes what the average college
student remembers five years after he or she's out of school ...

Say, if you want to take Spanish, what I teach you is "Como esta usted."
That means "How are you." And the response is "Muy bien." That means "Very
well." And believe me, if you took two years of college Spanish, five years
after you're out of school, "Como esta usted" and "Muy bien" is about all
you're gonna remember.

So in my school that's all you learn ... Economics? "Supply and demand."
That's it ...
-- Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello)

Related:

• Bart: Hello, there, fellow Shelbyvillians. Martin2:
  Wait a minute. If you're from Shelbyville, how come...
• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said,...
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college,
  taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company...
• Bob: You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five!
  What about the buffoon lessons, the four years...
• Mrs. Lovejoy: So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.
  Bart: Well, in _my_ family grades aren't that important...
• Never give advice--it will just backfire on you. -
  Father Guido Sarducci (Don...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
  feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it...
• Mrs. Lovejoy: So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.
  Bart: Well, in my family grades aren't that important...
• You're aware the boy failed my grade school math class,
  I take it? And not that many years later he's teaching...