Related:

• Nobody liked me because I was too popular. -- Jackie Verno
• My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
  I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana and smoked her....
• The meek shall inherit the Earth. They won't have the nerve to refuse it. -- Jackie Verno
• They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.
  -- Tommy Blaze...
• When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.
  -- Jackie Verno...
• The other night I was having sex, but the girl hung up on me.
• Loser: Calls mens room wall phone number. Dial-a-Prayer!
• It was a small town: Ferguson, Ohio. When you entered there was a big sign and it said, "Welcome to Ferguson.
  Beware of the Dog." The all-night drugstore closed at noon. -- Jackie Verno...