A Door Is Something You're On The Wrong Side Of When You're Too Short To Reach The Knob.

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A door is something you're on the wrong side of when you're too short to
reach the knob. When you are tall enough to reach the knob, a door is
something you have left open if it's supposed to be closed, or closed if
it's supposed to be open. You can't win. Whichever you do, you have done it
wrong. So close all open doors and open all closed doors. You will still be
wrong but you will be busy.
-- Robert Paul Smith