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• The POP server is out of Coke
• Monica: So, Chandler, who's on your list? Chandle
  Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit....
• You! Wandering mongrel! Get out of my Mom and Pop operation.
  -- Apu shooing Santa's Little Helper away, "Bart's Dog Gets an F...
• Road Kill Sold Here! Eat in or take out!
• May you get the winning lottery ticket and a hole in your pocket.
• The following appeared in a letter from the manager of a rock band named Double Rice.
  "One year ago, tickets for Double Rice's concerts in stadiums around the country took, on average, at least 24 hours to sell out, if they sold out at all....
• My purpose in life is to slam a stapler against the forehead of American pop culture.
  -- Weird Al Yankovic...
• It's time to go on a diet when the man from Prudential offers you group insurance.
  Or when you take a shower and you have to let out the shower curtain....
• Itchy: Thanks, kids. Now we'd like to speak to you seriously for a moment.
  Scratchy: Yup. This week is the grand opening of "Itchy and Scratchy Land" -- the violentest place on earth[tm]....