Related:

• Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
  WILSON...
• Adolesence is like a house on moving day: A temporary mess.
• Marge: All right: it's time to vote for the grand prize.
  Jay: I vote for Barney Gumbel's sensitive yet unfortunately-titled film, "Pukahontas"....
• Great Runes n. Uppercase-only text or display messages.
  Some archaic operating systems still emit these....
• One month after moving into your dream house, you will get new next-door neighbors who will display a predilection for dismantled cars, rabbit cages oversized tents and the music of Kool and the Gang.
• Well, are you going to just sit there? Get working, quit wasting company time!
• There is a skeleton in every old house.
• Honey, go find the whips and chains, would you? Company's coming....
• You will diiiiieeeee. You will die slowwwwwwwly. Your stomach will swelllllllll, your intestines will wriiiithe and booooil.
  Your eeeeeyes will buuuuurn....