Related:

• A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber won't ask, How was it? -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• It's easy to drop a cucumber. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me
• A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• A cucumber won't take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy blonde.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• You can eat a cucumber when YOU feel like it. -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me