Related:

• If you sit down at a poker game and don't see a sucker, get up. You're the sucker.
• Kirk: "Mister Spock, the ship is yours." Spock: "Jim, be careful.
  McCoy: "*We* will." -- "STII:TWOK", Stardate 8130.4...
• I like the old-time diners with names like Eat. But be careful if they advertise a bottomless cup of coffee.
  You could end up with a scalded crotch. -- Tommy Sledge...
• Be careful what you take with you into your old age.
• You can't cheat an honest man, never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump.
  -- W. C. Field...
• Humans are unreliable, inefficient, often lazy, sometimes pregnant, liable to strike, need to be fed and paid, take up a lot of space and are slow by computer standards.
• People who fight fire with fire generally end up as ashes.
• I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his.
  Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles!...