Related:

• The Jack in The Box is an educational toy. It teaches a kid that every time you play with it, it pops up.
• Fifty bucks for a toy? No kid is worth that! -- Homer's value of children, "Homer's Phobia
• If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away.
  Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day....
• When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins.
  Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic....
• QOTD: "In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department.
• When I have a kid, I want to buy a twin-stroller and put him in one side, and then reply when he's old enough to ask "You had a brother, but he was bad.
• Abe: When I was young, toys were built to last. Look at this junk!
  [holds a toy rocket] It breaks the first time you take it out of the box....
• When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box.
  I was an only child...eventually. -- Steven Wrigh...
• On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.