Related:

• Lisa: This is terrible! People will start to avoid Springfield.
  Homer: But what can I do? I'm just...[counts "One" on fingers] one man....
• Lisa: Just make up some excuse! [running to hide] Home
  [answering the door] She's in the can. Go away. -- "I Love Lisa...
• It was the dumbest thing I had ever seen, but it's a family thing, and I guess it's clean.
  -- Barbara Bush re: THE SIMPSONS...
• The devil would be the best way out as an excuse for God .
  .. But even so, one can hold God responsible for the existence of the Devil....
• I know that you think an unhappy childhood has lead you to all this, but that's really no excuse.
  -- The Flash...
• Excuse me, could I please just distract you for one brief second?
  -- Kryten, distracting the Inquisitor in Red Dwarf 'Inquisitor'...
• A man is walking along when he sees a funeral procession going by, the longest procession he's ever seen.
  It seems to consist of the hearse, followed by a man with a Doberman on a leash, followed by several hundred other men....
• The movie St. Elmo's Fire was made to prove to us that each and every one of us can feel the urge to strangle people.
• I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.
  You sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working....