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• All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life...
• If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life...
• There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death.
  Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour....
• THE THREE MOST COMMONLY-ASKED QUESTIONS AT DISNEYLAND
  1) Where's the bathroom? 2) What time does the parade start?...
• Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. -- Fran Lebowitz
• Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." -- Fran Lebowitz
• 1) Why are we born? 2) Why do we die? 3) Why do we spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?
  -- The three most puzzling questio...
• Have you got your income tax papers yet? They've done away with all those silly questions now.
  There are only three questions on the form: 1....
• Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...