Related:

• Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studie...
• No animal should ever jump on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in conversation.
  -- Fran Lebowitz -- Social Studie...
• Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine.
  You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star....
• The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studie...
• Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studie...
• Educational television should be absolutely forbidden.
  It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens....
• It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative.
  For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars....
• Food is an important part of a balanced diet. -- Fran Lebowitz