Related:

• Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...
• Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studie...
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...before you call someone on the phone, you think
  'finger joe@his.house'...
• phone rings] Kent: Well it looks like we have our first caller.
  ..and I mean ever, because this is not a call-in show....
• Why do they call them briefings when they take SO LONG?
• If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, then call them up when you're drunk.
• Lisa: Bart, I figured it out! Who's someone you've been making irritating phone calls to for years?
  Bart: Linda Lavin? Lisa: No, someone who _didn't_ deserve it....
• Love is what we call the situation which occurs when two people who are sexually compatible discover that they can also tolerate one another in various other circumstances.
  -- Marc Maihueird...
• The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument.
  This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was owed a personal favour by Georges Enesco, the celebrated violinist....