Related:

• What do you call a hippie with no legs? A veteran.
• I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him.
  'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I have a dog; I named him Stay. So when I'd go to call him, I'd say, "Here, Stay, here.
  .." but he got wise to that. Now when I call him he ignores me and just keeps on typing....
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• Now... Sit! I said, Sit! [Santa's Little Helper walks away] Um, take a walk.
  Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I tell him....
• Milhouse: Bart, look! It's Principal Skinner. And I think he's gone crazy -- he's not wearing a suit or tie or anything!
  Bart: [approaches him] Principal Skinner? Um, I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired, and biting you, and then getting it on with your leg....
• Nelson: {The ingredients were: fresh pureed tomatoes, water, salt, and sodium benzoate used to retard spoilage.
  Once again, if I'm not mistaken, this can contained tomato paste....
• My ritual differs slightly. What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall.
  Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers....
• What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall.
  Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers....