Related:

• If I let go of the feelings which cause me pain, I would have no feelings at all. -- Dan Goodma
• I can learn to be my own best friend, but then I remember I don't really like me. -- Dan Goodma
• Rabbi K: [answers phone] What? Saul Bellow? The Nobel-prize-winning Jewish novelist?
  He wants to have lunch with me? Ha ha! It's a date!...
• By writing my fears down on paper I will see that not only am I afraid of everything but that I also have really bad penmanship.
  -- Dan Goodma...
• Saul was walking down the street when he ran into Morty.
  The two got to talking and Saul asked "So Morty, how's your son?...
• I don't exercise. I'm Jewish. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
  JOAN RIVERS...
• If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I?
  If not now, when? -- Rabbi Hillel...
• Lisa: I would like to say grace. Ahem. Lord, have mercy on my soul.
  ..and Mom's soul...and Dad's soul......
• I lay my head on the railroad tracks, Waitin' for the double E.
  The railroad don't run no more. Poor poor pitiful me....