Related:

• I have bad luck with plants. I bought me a philodendron .
  .. and I put it in the kitchen and it drank my soup. -- Joan Rive...
• God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go.
  "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter. "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God....
• In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially announced His candidacy for the U.
  S. presidency. During His press conference today, the first in over 4000 years, He is quoted as saying, "I think I have a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together in time....
• If all the ladies bend over, I would be very happy.
• If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.