Related:

• I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reaso
  I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me....
• Marge: Now wait a minute, I'm not sure about this. Every time we've ever gone on vacation I end up being horribly embarrassed.
  We end up in a big fight and we come home more miserable than when we left....
• Skinner: Children, the times they are a-becoming quite different.
  Test scores are at an all-time low, so I've come up with these academic alerts....
• It did not occur to me that my being with two men continuously would interest anyone or arouse anyone's misgivings.
  I asked for an invitation for Heinrich too, as often as it seemed possible, when Paulus and I were invited to a social gathering....
• Oh sure, this costume may look silly, but it lets me get in and out of dangerous situations -- I work for a federal task force doing a survey on urban crime.
  Look, here's my ID, and here's a number you can call, that will put you through to our central base in Atlanta....
• Oh sure, this costume may look silly, but it lets me get in and out of dangerous situations -- I work for a federal task force doing a survey on urban crime.
  Look, here's my ID, and here's a number you can call, that will put you through to our central base in Atlanta....
• Dick: Well, my time's almost up here, so, uh, I'd just like to say.
  ..I know Woody Allen. [a couple of people clap halfheartedly] Home...
• Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time.
  -- Rene Auberjonois (from Lou Brock)...
• I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad.
  I'd say yeah? When? -- Bill Hick...