Related:

• Once at a dinner party when he was a young man, Winston Churchill, who at the time had a moustache, was seated next to an older woman.
  She said to him, "Young man, I care neither for your politics nor for your moustache....
• She said she had nothing to wear. I smiled.
• I hate blind dates, but a friend says he could set me up, so I said, "Okay.
  But you should have seen this girl. It was like she hadn't taken a bath in a month....
• She said "Have a nice day", but I had other plans.....
• On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.
  There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning alive....
• A man had a long argument with his wife recently. She wanted to purchase a brand new living room couch.
  I told her, the man said, that there was nothing wrong with the old couch....
• And often did beguile her of her tears, When I did speak of some distressful stroke That my youth suffer'd.
  My story being done, She gave me for my pains a world of sigh...
• My youngest child is the funniest one of the group.
  I had just finished eating and my stomach was swollen from the food that went in it....
• There once was a king who ruled his country long, wisely, and well.
  The king had a son whom he hoped would someday rule the land....