Related:

• Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DENTIST, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devel's Dictionary
• Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religio
  in Constantinople, one who does. -- Ambrose Bierce...
• FORK, n. An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
  Formerly the knife was employed for this purpose, and by many worthy persons is still thought to have many advantages over the other tool, which, however, they do not altogether reject, but use to assist in charging the knife....
• ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...