Related:

• DRAMATIST, n. One who adapts plays from the French. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GENEALOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• FORGETFULNESS, n. A gift of God bestowed upon doctors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RESTITUTIONS, n. The founding or endowing of universities and public libraries by gift or bequest.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...