Related:

• INFIDEL, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religio
  in Constantinople, one who does. (See GIAOUR.) A kind of scoundrel imperfectly reverent of, and niggardly contributory to, divines, ecclesiastics, popes, parsons, canons, monks, mollahs, voodoos, presbyters, hierophants, prelates, obeah-men, abbes, nuns, missionaries, exhorters, deacons, friars, hadjis, high-priests, muezzins, brahmins, medicine-men, confessors, eminences, elders, primates, prebendaries, pilgrims, prophets, imaums, beneficiaries, clerks, vicars-choral, archbishops, bishops, abbots, priors, preachers, padres, abbotesses, caloyers, palmers, curates, patriarchs, bonezs, santons, beadsmen, canonesses, residentiaries, diocesans, deans, subdeans, rural deans, abdals, charm-sellers, archdeacons, hierarchs, class-leaders, incumbents, capitulars, sheiks, talapoins, postulants, scribes, gooroos, precentors, beadles, fakeers, sextons, reverences, revivalists, cenobites, perpetual curates, chaplains, mudjoes, readers, novices, vicars, pastors, rabbis, ulemas, lamas, sacristans, vergers, dervises, lectors, church wardens, cardinals, prioresses, suffragans, acolytes, rectors, cures, sophis, mutifs and pumpums....
• HYPOCRITE, n. One who, profession virtues that he does not respect secures the advantage of seeming to be what he depises.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Christian, n.: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
  One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin....
• NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devel's Dictionary
• No one is as tired as the person who does nothing.
• TRINITY, n. In the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one.
  Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their clames to adoration and propitiation....
• Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete/Successfully in business.
  Cheat. BIBLE = A collection of fantastic legends without any scientific support....
• How many Helmsley employees -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  100: 99 to try, and one to fire them all. Note: Leona Helmsley is the owner of a (New York?...