Related:

• Bilbo's First Law: You cannot count friends that are all packed up in barrels.
• You see it's like a portmanteau--there are two meanings packed up into one word.
  -- Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Gla...
• The difference between the Laws of Nature and Murphy's Law is that with the Laws of Nature you can count on things screwing up the same way every time.
  -- The Reliability Principle...
• Crittendon's 14th application of Murphy's First Law
  You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter....
• Typical humans, you can always count on them to mess things up.
• When you are down and out, all too often the thing that turns up is the noses of your former friends.
• You cannot use your friends and have them too.
• Ned: Howd... Phone: Greetings, friends... Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in?
  Homer: Shut _up_! -- When you shut up first,"Lisa's Date With Density...