Related:

• A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can. -- Moms Mabley
• They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good.
  He's dead. Good. -- Moms Mabley...
• They sent for me to come down to Washington in an airplane .
  .. Sure enough, no sooner I got on the plane they strapped me down....
• I was walking down 126th Street on my way to work. Met a fella.
  He said, "Moms, I hate this, I really hate this, but, Moms, gimme some money!...
• I said to my old husband, "I'm gonna take you out into the country for a picnic.
  Do you like the country?" He said, "Sure I do. When I was a little boy, I used to live in the country....
• Anybody who acts normal nowadays, they're probably just not well.
  I'm telling you, I just don't understand. If I go too fast, I'll run into something....
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....
• And this," said Caesar, "you know, young man, is more disagreeable for me to say than to do.
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- Life of Caesa...
• Now tell me: can a man love anyone who hates himself?
  Can he be in harmony with someone else if he's divided in himself, or bring anyone pleasure if he's only a disagreeable nuisance to himself?...