Related:

• A lady is one who only shows her underwear intentionally.
• A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
• Never kiss a lady on the hand, especially just after her return from one of those self-service gas stations.
• Lady, lady, should you meet One whose ways are all discreet, One who murmurs that his wife Is the lodestar of his life, One who keeps assuring you That he never was untrue, Never loved another one.
  .. Lady, lady, better run! -- Dorothy Parker, "Social Note...
• Never get caught acting. -- Lillian Gish
• There was a young lady of Norway Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
  She said to her beau "Just look at me Joe I think I've discovered one more way....
• I live just off Ventura Boulevard, where all the weirdos hang ou
  and I was on a corner the other day when a wild-looking sort of gypsy-looking lady with a dark veil over her face grabbed me right on Ventura Boulevard and said, "Karen Haber!...
• I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands.
  Her name was "woman"....
• One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.
  A woman who would tell that would tell anything. -- Oscar Wilde...