Related:

• A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket.
  How old's your kid?" the conductor says, and the father says "He's four years old....
• There may be said to be two classes of people in the world
  hose who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not....
• Streets full of water; please advise. -- Robert Benchley
• The only cure for a real hangover is death. -- Robert Benchley
• Husband who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night.
• Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
  -- Robert Benchley...
• Criminal: One who gets caught.
• A really good bass is the hardest drunk to find. -- Robert Benchley
• Defining and analyzing humour is a pastime of humorless people. -- Robert Benchley