Related:

• They've got so many of these Dial-a-Service numbers.
  They've got one that'll keep you occupied for hours, and it doesn't cost a cent....
• Life is like a bagel. It's delicious when it's fresh and warm, but often it's just hard.
  The hole in the middle is its great mystery, and yet it wouldn't be a bagel without it....
• I hate the subway. And these guys begging for spare change.
  They come around with their hand out yelling, "Spare a quarter!...
• Christmas is the day that holds time together. -- Alexander Smith
• If penicillin is such a wonder drug, how come it can't cure bread mold? -- Ron Smith
• I'm a Volvovegetarian. I'll eat an animal only if it was accidentally killed by a speeding car.
  -- Ron Smith...
• My bathroom has a digital sink. When I want to stop the water running, I put my finger in the faucet.
  -- Ron Smith...
• DAISY CHAIN -- a group of people getting their head together.
• Hello. I'm Frank Ormand, and if you're watching me, that means you've got pretzel fever -- and not the kind that attacked my intestinal lining some years back.
  [starts a sickening laughter] So let's get your franchise up and running....