Related:

• There was something about her I liked, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
• Homer: You're home safe. Done my duty. See you the next time we need your signature.
  Abe: Aw, you never want to spend any time with me....
• I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
  -- Rodney Dangerfield...
• If I put water in my dog's mouth, will bells ring?
• I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!! -- Zippy the Pinhead
• Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
  -- Mel Brook...
• I can't stop my leg!!!
• You just know when a relationship is about to end. My girlfriend called me at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in the bathroom.
  It's very simple," I said. "You start by filling up the bathtub with water......