You May Ask Yourself, How Did I Get Here? This Is Not My Beautiful House!

Related:

• And you may ask yourself "Am I right? ... Am I wrong?
  And you may say to yourself "MY GOD! ... WHAT HAVE I DONE?" -- The Talking Head...
• My other wife is beautiful.
• Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and this casino to join.
  .. [points at Homer] Homer: Homer. Minister: ......
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• Bart+Lisa: HAP-PY BIRTH-DAY! Homer: [alarmed] Aaggh!
  Whaa... What! Lisa: Here's your birthday breakfast!...
• Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
  Marge: [Wearily] Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa....
• You know something, folks, as ridiculous as this sound
  I would rather feel the sweet breath of my beautiful wife on the back of my neck as I sleep than stuff dollar bills into some stranger's G-string....