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• Middle age is when a narrow waste and a broad mind change places.
• You know you're getting old when you notice how young the derelicts are getting.
  -- Jeanne Phillip...
• When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
  -- Mark Twai...
• You know you're old when your toupee turns gray.
• You're old when you forget how to start your rocking chair.
• You know you are getting older when the only thing you really want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.
• You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead. -- John Mendoza
• You are getting old if you can remember when you could tell what was in the breakfast cereal by the taste of it!
• One pill makes you larger And if you go chasing rabbits And, one pill makes you small.
  And you know you're going to fall. And the ones that mother gives you, Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar Don't do anything at all....