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• I once tried to spread a rumor that I had an offer of $
  15,000 to leave radio and fly out to the coast but when the story came back to me, it was $...
• Even now, I go to someone's house and think I am being a good guest if I am very quiet, don't ask for anything, and refuse anything that's offered.
  This behavior makes other people think of me as a nincompoop....
• When you're around it all the time, you don't notice it so much.
  -- Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Day...
• On this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick tomatoes.
  Back in April I'd have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August they are no more rare or wonderful than rocks....
• You have taught me to value a good night's sleep over all else including adventures of love and friendship, and even when the night is charged with magic, to be sure to get to bed.
  If God had not meant everyone to be in bed by ten-thirty, He would never have provided the ten o'clock newscast....
• Lake Wobegon takes its name from an Indian phrase that means either 'Here we are!
  ' or 'we sat all day in the rain waiting for you.' -- Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Day...
• The Lake Wobegon runestone, which proves that Viking explorers were here in 1381, is a small black stone covered with Viking runic characters which read
  8 of us stopped & stayed awhile to visit & have coffee & a short nap....
• There's no place like home when you're not feeling well. -- Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Day
• if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.
  -- Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Day...