Related:

• VACUUM-CLEANER Men have traditionally said of vacuum-cleaners "what's that?
  New men know what vacuum-cleaners are, even if they've never touched them in the flesh....
• It's too formal to ask for the vacuum cleaner. You say "I'm choking the alligator.
• Vet: Your dog's condition has been upgraded from stable to frisky, [SLH walks out with his hind legs in a cast on rollers] and he's free to go.
  His legs should be as good as new in a few months, but in the meantime he'll have to use the wheelabout....
• Microsoft should switch to the vacuum cleaner business where people actually want products that suck.
  -- Bruno Bratti...
• If you take a dog in, feed it and take care of it, it will come to think
  "See all he is doing for me; my owner must be a god....
• You Can Tell An Owner By Its Cat.
• Two Finns and a penguin are sitting on the front porch of a large house.
  The penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn, "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?...
• Q: "Can you use a vacuum cleaner on your dog?" A: "Yes, but it is generally better to take it for a walk.
• RHETORICAL Well if you didn't want an answer, why did you bother asking a question?
  It's that kind of behaviour that leads to extreme irritation and eventual violence involving a jack-hammer, three bananas in various orifices and strangulation with a vacuum cleaner hose....