Related:

• I have a friend who is so stupid that he tried to enter the 1-900-SPELLIT contest, but he kept getting the wrong number.
• I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me. The first time I tried smoking pot I didn't know what I was doing.
  I smoked half the joint, got the munchies, and ate the other half....
• And that's a wrap!
• Tried to hang myself with bungee cord. I kept almost-dying.
• When I bought some new glasses a few months ago, the lady kept on saying how great the lenses were that I was getting.
  She kept on saying, ``You can shoot a bullet right through them....
• I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took and to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Evan's Law of Politics When team members are finally in a position to help the team, it turns out they have quit the team.
• It's a knockout tournament and anything can happen.