Related:

• Oh who can tell, save he whose heart hath tried.
  -- Lord Byron (1788-1824) -- The Corsair, Canto i, Stanza 1...
• My friend tried to tell me that I had dyslexia, but I'm convinced he has it all backwards.
• I have a friend named Dennis. Both his parents are midgets, but not Dennis.
  He's a midget dwarf... He's the guy who poses for trophies....
• He who enters contest is optimistic as submarine with screen doors.
• Troy: [voiceover] When Krusty the clown got canceled, he tried everything to stay on the air.
  Here's what you didn't see. Krusty: Watch my show, I will send you this book featuring me in a variety of sexually explicit positions....
• Somewhere nearby is colossal cave, where others have found fortunes in treasure treasure and gold, though it is rumored that some who enter are never seen seen again.
  Magic is said to work in the cave. I will be your eyes and and hands....
• Bart: [sleepy] Hello? Bruno: Right! I'm calling all the way from Squatter's Crog, Australia and I want to speak to, er, Dr.
  Bart Simpson right now. Bart: Uh...[plugs nose] hold, please....
• When the fencing team tried to wrap up the tournament, they kept getting foiled.
• What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God".
  "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God....