Related:

• In case of nuclear attack: 1) Stand with feet shoulder width apart.
  2) Bend over to a 90 degree angle. 3) Face backwards. 4) Kiss your ass goodbye....
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2) Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache....
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  2) You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any....
• The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.
• What to do in case of an alien attack: 1) Hide beneath the seat of your plane and look away.
  2) Avoid eye contact. 3) If there are no eyes, avoid all contact....
• Take off your hat to your yesterdays; take off your coat for your tomorrows. -- Proverb
• The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run! -- John Barrymore
• Answers to Last Fortune's Questions: (1) None. (Moses didn't have an ark).
  (2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle. (3) I don't know....