Related:

• The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine billio
  ine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine times out of a trillion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it....
• SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment.
  A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine....
• I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.
  -- George Bernard Shaw...
• How many mothers in law -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  A hundred. One to change it and the other ninety nine to say, "I told you so!...
• How many sopranos -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  One hundred. One to do it, and ninety-nine to discuss how it was really too high for her....
• How many pre-med students -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One hundred; one to change the light bulb, the other ninety-nine to stand around wondering why they weren't chosen....
• Pooh, will you always remember me, even when I'm a hundred?
  asked Christopher Robin. Pooh thought for a minute....
• Two-hundred-thirty-nine pounds?! I'm a blimp! Why are all the good things so tasty?
  -- Homer Simpson Brush With Greatne...
• AAGGGHHH! TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE POUNDS!!! Ohh, I'm a blimp.
  Why are the good things so tasty? -- Homer weighs himself, "Homer's Night Ou...