Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• QUEUE Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how to manage.
  It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've got mega bargains now!...
• The Lord has handed down to us ten commandments by which to live.
  I will now read them in no particular order. -- Moses, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
• Bart: [sleepy] Hello? Bruno: Right! I'm calling all the way from Squatter's Crog, Australia and I want to speak to, er, Dr.
  Bart Simpson right now. Bart: Uh...[plugs nose] hold, please....
• Marty: We think we know how your mind works, Bart. So how about thi
  we pay your principal $10,000 to pull down his pants and keep them down for the rest of the school year, ha ha!...
• Bart: Milhouse...do you ever worry that your mom might stop loving you?
  Milhouse: What? I'm more worried about pirhanas. Did you see that movie where they send a nuclear submarine to fight the pirhanas, and one of them swims right down the periscope and bites the guy in the eye, and he goes, "Aah!...
• Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
  -- H. L. Mencke...
• I always will remember -- I was in no mood to trifle
  'Twas a year ago November -- I got down my trusty rifle I went out to shoot some deer And went out to stalk my prey -- On a morning bright and clear....
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...