[phone rings]
Kent: Well it looks like we have our first caller...and I mean ever,
because this is not a call-in show. Hello, you're on the air.
Man: Hello, Kent. Hello, Homer -- my arch-nemesis.
Homer: Y'ello.
Man: You _do_ realize who this is?
Homer: Uh...Marge?
Man: No, Homer, I'm not your wife. Although, I do enjoy her pearls.
As a matter of fact, I'm holding them right now: listen. [plays
with them]
Homer: Why you monster. And you have my daughter's saxophone too!
[He strangles someone off camera]
Kent: Homer! That's our stage manager.
Homer: Oh...heh, sorry. I'm a little nervous.
-- No great loss, "Homer the Vigilante"
Kent: Well it looks like we have our first caller...and I mean ever,
because this is not a call-in show. Hello, you're on the air.
Man: Hello, Kent. Hello, Homer -- my arch-nemesis.
Homer: Y'ello.
Man: You _do_ realize who this is?
Homer: Uh...Marge?
Man: No, Homer, I'm not your wife. Although, I do enjoy her pearls.
As a matter of fact, I'm holding them right now: listen. [plays
with them]
Homer: Why you monster. And you have my daughter's saxophone too!
[He strangles someone off camera]
Kent: Homer! That's our stage manager.
Homer: Oh...heh, sorry. I'm a little nervous.
-- No great loss, "Homer the Vigilante"
Related:
- Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about,... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Homer: They're ruining my whole life. Marge, please,
this is where I need you the most: I'm counting... - Lisa: And now it's time for the Innocence Report with Homer Simpson.
[holds sign: "Innocence Report"] Homer: Hello. I am... - Patty: Homer, um...I'm speechless. You just saved our hides.
Homer: Please, on top of everything else, don't make... - Kent: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been
causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't... - Homer: You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage I can finally
look down my nose at you.
_You_ have a gambling problem! Marge: That's true.... - Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all... - Marge: Now, I know we love the puppies very much, but I think
they're getting to be a problem.
Bart: Yeah, they ate all my socks. I have to wear...
From the same category:
- Homer: What do I do? What do I do? In the name of God you've got to
tell me!
[sobbing] Agent 2: Relax, it's just a simulator. Nothing... - Lovejoy: Hmmm. I'm a shepherd without a flock.
[looks heavenward] What have I done... - I will not fake my way through life.
-- Bart's blackboard punishment,
"Bart Gets an... - Bart: So, you guys like being cops?
Cop: Oh, it's great.
You get to run red lights, park wherever you ... - Man #1: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime?
Tatum:
Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back...
