Related:

• If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles.
  It would be cute because the parrot can't seem to act like an eagle....
• If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!
  eal loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World, I bet it would really start to annoy you after a while how they really sort of stretch the definition of "bag.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself.
  For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head"....
• Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a streetlight?
  Also what's funny is how we do this every night. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...