Related:

• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you ask archie where to find your keys.
• Check your altimeter! Pull a lever! Push a button!
• Where will YOU be when your laxative starts working?
• If you hail a taxi, your bus trundles into view just as you get in.
• May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.
• It is a sorry time in life when nobody asks you to "act your age," any longer, for fear you will!
• It's probably a bad day when, you find a dead fish in your underwear.
• Once you accept your own death all of a sudden you are free to live.
  You no longer care about your reputation, you no longer care except so far as your life can be used tactically to promote a cause you believe in....
• A strange malaise suddenly afflicts you. You shiver with chill, and your muscles seem to turn to putty
  everything around you becomes grey and unreal. The fit quickly passes, and you find that your body has degenerated back to what it was like before you ate the spinach....