Related:

• May you and your wife share with each other like a horse and a sparrow.
• You may be redneck... if your mailbox is made from an old farm plow.
• Drive your cart and plow over the bones of the dead.
• May you be as healthy as the salmon.
• I think my wife may be getting somewhat overweight.
  "Oh, how can you tell?" "Well, last night when she sat on my face, I couldn't hear the stereo....
• You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
• It's very healthy for a young girl to be deterred from promiscuity by fear of contracting a painful
  incurable disease, or cervical cancer, or sterility, or the likelihood of giving birth to a dead, blind, or brain-damage [sic] baby even ten years later when she may be happily married....
• You may be redneck... if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.