Related:

• Did you hear about the woman who hates her husband so much that she closes her eyes during intercourse because she doesn't want to see him enjoying himself.
• I loved my chosen. How then to face the day when she left me?
  So I took from her body a single cell, perhaps to love her again....
• God must have loved calories, she made so many of them.
• The sky was dark, the moon was high All alone just she and I Her hair was sof
  her eyes were blue I knew just what she wanted to do Her skin so soft, her legs so fine I ran my fingers down her spine I didn't know how but I tried my best I started by placing my hands on her breast I remember my fear, my fast beating heart But slowly she spread her legs apart And when I did it I felt no shame All at once - the white stuff came At last it's finished, it's all over now My first time ever at milking a cow....
• Twas midnight on the ocean, Her children all were orpha
  Not a streetcar was in sight, Except one a tiny tot, So I stepped into a cigar store Who had a home across the way To ask them for a light....
• Always tell her she's beautiful, especially if she isn't. -- Lazarus Long
• She was only a moonshiner's daughter, but I loved her still.
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• She's so self-centered she occupies a special place in her heart.