Related:

• For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
  -- Quentin Crisp...
• May you marry the best cook in the world and get ulcers.
• My friend Sappo was real depressed. He said, "I can't get any girls.
  I said, "Don't worry, listen, tomorrow we're going swimming....
• Those who have false teeth, when your plates come out tonight, don't use just water in an ordinary old glass, use some class, use Bud Light, and put some sparkle in your smile for tomorrow!
• The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat.
  And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?...
• QOTD: "You're so dumb you don't even have wisdom teeth.
• The best you get is an even break. -- Franklin Adam
• Half-done: This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still crunchy, light green, yet full of garlic flavor.
  The difference between this and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the difference between life and death....