Related:

• Grimes: God, he eats like a pig. Lenny: I dunno.
  Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• I wished now that I had gone to the restaurant across the street where the food had at least the merit of being tasteless.
  -- Found on a company cafeteria doo...
• A New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered by the side of the street.
  Curiousity got the better of him and he leaned out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on....
• I'm sitting in a bar, having a drink. Over here is a man having a drink.
  He falls down three times. I pick him up each time....
• A little woman fell in love with a man 90 years old--until she made a date with him.
  She goes out with him that night, and a friend says the next morning, "How did you like him?...
• Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
  Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was <twice> your age before I figured that out....
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...