Related:

• When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion. Ethiopian Proverb
• Windows: Ability to screw up 2 things at the same time.
• Laws, like the spider's webs, catch the flies and let the hawk go free. Spanish Proverb
• I want to show you an optimistic sign that things are beginning to turn around.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle trying to convince reporters that the economy was doing better because a Burger King had a 'now hiring' sign in the window....
• The difference between the Laws of Nature and Murphy's Law is that with the Laws of Nature you can count on things screwing up the same way every time.
  -- The Reliability Principle...
• Luisa: Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic [Ross' Monkey, Marcel] is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal?
  Phoebe: Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?...
• What If Bill Gates Was a Stand-Up Comedian? 1. None of his jokes would be funny.
  2. Subliminal message hyping Microsoft and Windows 98 would be inserted throughout his performance....
• I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?
  She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks....
• After two or three weeks of this madness, you begin to feel As One with the man who said, "No news is good news.
  In twenty-eight papers, only the rarest kind of luck will turn up more than two or three articles of any interest....