Luisa: Oookay. Are You Aware That Possession Of An Illegal Exotic [Ross' Monkey, Marcel] Is, Uh, Punishable By Up To Two Years In Prison And Confiscation Of The Animal?

Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know.
I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh....
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman! [Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.
] Monica: Oh my God. Phoebe: Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday....
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time.
It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games....
Joey: All right. [gets up] Monica: [stopping him] No!
Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler: [running over and joining Monica] They'll never understand!...
Phoebe: [entering] Hey! Monica: [runs over to her] I tried to reach you at work.
There's... been a fire. Phoebe: What?! Oh my... [sees the remains of the house] Oh my God!...
Chandler enters hungover and groaning ] Monica: How ya feelin'?
Chandler: Well, my apartment isn't there anymore, because I drank it....
Ross: Alright, I want my monkey. Luisa [from Animal Control]
No! Rachel: Oh, c'mon, Luisa! Luisa: Sorry, prom queen....
Monica: Okay, all right don't judge me to much. Okay?
Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop....
Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know, I....