Related:

• Homer: Okay okay, think back to your training... [begin flashback] Traine
  Now, Homer, this may very well save your life one day....
• Bart: I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Krusty, but you know, my mom says God never closes a door without opening a window.
  Krusty: No offense, kid, but your mom's a dingbat!...
• Bart pushes a button; Homer walks in with an armful of donuts] Home
  Hey, the trail of donuts ended -- [gasps] Bart! Ba...
• Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant.
  I said, "I'll be the one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex....
• Burns: Bart, I know you children see me as some sort of "booger man", but I'm really not such a bad dude.
  Oh, your milk's gone cold -- I'll ring for the maid....
• Going through life pushing doors marked "Pull" ...
• But what does piercing your nipple have to do with driving your VW?
• Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
• Life is like riding an elevator. It has a lot of ups and downs and someone is always pushing your buttons.
  Sometimes you get the shaft, but what really bothers you are the jerks....